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  “I’m sorry, Jamie, I know this is really mean of me because it’s your birthday, but it’s not going to happen. I just can’t,” she insisted as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and started adjusting her clothes.

  I lay there face down and groaned in frustration. But it was no good. Seraphina had said no, and I was just going to have to accept it, although I was still secretly convinced that it was just her nerves getting the better of her, and if I could only get past the first awkward stage with her she’d be totally fine. Maybe next time, if I was patient with her.

  “I really am sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, if I led you on in anyway. I don’t usually drink so I can only think that’s what made me act that way with you. Please forgive me; I’ll understand if you don't want us to be friends anymore,” she said in a wobbly voice, as if she was about to burst into tears.

  I was gutted at how things had turned out, but I wasn’t ready to give up on Seraphina yet. She’d told me previously that she grew up in an all female household. No father around, no brothers. So maybe that had had a detrimental effect on her relationships with men. Maybe she needed to learn to relax with me first, before we could have sex. I didn’t want to accept the possibility that she was gay. If I possibly wanted her to be my girlfriend, then it was clear I was going to have to be patient with her. I’ve always enjoyed a challenge, and I could do the whole mature and considerate thing couldn’t I? So I slowly sat up next to her.

  “Look, Sera, there’s nothing to forgive. I’m not angry with you. Maybe if we took things really slowly, went back to basics, had a few dates and got to know each other, you’d feel more relaxed and then things will progress naturally between us, until you’re ready to take the next step with me.”

  “Would you really do that for me? Most guys react really badly when I pull back. They usually start calling me a prick tease, that kind of thing,” Sera whispered.

  “I’ve been trying to get you to come out on a date with me so I could get to know you better ever since we first met, but you’ve always made excuses, saying you’re too busy. So all I ask is that you make time for me and give me a chance; give us a chance. If you’ll do that for me, I promise we’ll take things at your pace, although I’m not going to lie; it won’t be easy when I'm so crazy for you.” I tried to subtly rearrange my frustrated and unsatisfied cock.

  “I’m so sorry, Jamie, I truly am. This is exactly why I keep guys at a distance. I know how things always turn out, so I’ve found it’s much simpler not to let anything start in the first place. But it seems you’re different. You really are quite a special guy, aren’t you?” she said, as she smiled, then kissed me briefly on my lips. She put her hand on my face as she looked into my eyes, and I leant into her hand.

  “You’re the special one, Sera. For you, I will wait until you say you are ready. Just come on a date with me, please?”

  “Okay. How about Saturday morning? I have to work in the evening, and I’d planned to study in the afternoon, but the morning is free, if you’re willing to get up and go out somewhere?”

  I always spent Friday nights drinking with my rugby club mates, and it usually went on pretty late, so I didn't normally get up until around lunch time on a Saturday. But I could hardly turn her down after pleading with her could I?

  So that was how we ended up going to the Tate Modern art gallery so that she could show me her favourite pieces of art on the first Saturday, while the following week I took her to a rugby match, because we’d agreed we could take it in turns doing things that were new experiences for each of us.

  And we did sort of have fun. I liked walking along the embankment holding her hand, even if I did think the Damien Hirst exhibition we’d just viewed at Tate was a load of old rubbish. And I'm not sure in all honesty that she fully appreciated the whole Twickenham rugby match experience, even though it was an England versus Ireland match, but she gamely entered into the spirit of things and cheered for our team whenever I did.

  But how long it would be before she was going to feel relaxed enough to finally let me get her into bed remained to be seen.

  Chapter 7

  Liam

  I’d been away in the States again, building up my business contacts in order to expand my interests over there. On my return, I’d instructed Simon Draper, my Creative Director, that I wanted SCV to have a complete image makeover, with new logos and brandings, something fresh and stimulating to replace the current boring image we had. I gave him a month to come up with something, and ignored his protests that this was too short a time frame. I wanted the new image in place for some important meetings I’d managed to set up in the States, so they just had to get their act together. I’d given them detailed instructions about what I wanted, and more importantly what I didn't want, so how hard could it be, for fuck’s sake?

  It was Sunday, so Jamie was coming over for a belated birthday lunch celebration, since I’d been away at the time. I was curious to find out how he was getting on with this girl he’d been chasing after for months now. Hopefully he’d finally got her out of his system, was bored with her and regretting his decision to let her have a room in the house. Perhaps that would teach him not to think with his dick in future.

  Having terminated my arrangement with Kimberley, I’d not had a chance to organise a replacement since I’d been away on business so much lately. Now that I was back, it was something I’d have to turn my attention too. I had needs - very urgent needs. I have a high sex drive, and lack of sex was definitely making me tetchy and irritable. I had someone in mind – the blonde who regularly worked out next to me at the gym had been sending unmistakeable signs of interest, and a few discrete enquiries with Scott Franklin the gym manager, my usual contact in these matters, had revealed that she was into the no strings kind of sex I was interested in. I just needed to set something up, and I’d have to get onto it first thing tomorrow.

  Once Jamie had arrived and we were sitting eating our lunch, I broached the subject of this stupid girl he was infatuated with. I didn't beat around the bush.

  “Have you fucked her yet?”

  Jamie spluttered as he choked on his food.

  “Excuse me?”

  “This girl. The one who’s been leading you a fine dance, playing hard to get and all that malarkey. Have you screwed her yet?” I watched for his response as I took a mouthful of the rather good beef casserole that Agnieszka had left for us this week.

  “I take it you mean Seraphina.” By Jamie’s defensive attitude, he clearly hadn’t fucked her yet.

  “If that’s her name, then yes. Seraphina. Have you finally managed to fuck her? Has the novelty worn off so you can move on?”

  “Liam, you really are a nasty shit sometimes. It’s not like that, not with Sera. She’s different, I keep telling you.”

  “So you still haven’t got around to shagging her yet. Jesus Christ almighty, what is wrong with you? Why the hell are you wasting your time on a prick teasing bitch like her?”

  “She’s not a prick teasing bitch, it’s just complicated with her. She’s got issues. If you must know, I did actually get her into my bedroom at my birthday party, but just as I thought we were finally going to make it together, she freaked out on me.”

  “She’s got issues. This just gets better and better,” I muttered in disbelief. My brother could pretty much have the pick of any girl he wanted, but he had to go and get himself mixed up with this nutty cow instead.

  “It turns out she’s still a virgin. She’s got herself so hung up about guys touching her and having sex that she’s worried she’s a lesbian, which I'm sure she’s not. Well, at least I hope she’s not.”

  “So she’s either frigid or gay. Well done, little brother, you certainly know how to pick a great girl. So what do you plan to do? My advice is to walk away now, before she completely does your head in. Oh but wait, you can't; dick brain that you are, you gave her a room in your house, didn't you?”

  “I don't want to walk awa
y. I’ve told her I’ll wait. I’ll be patient and give her time. I’ll wait until she feels ready for us to have sex together, and I love the idea of being her first guy. So we’ve been going on dates, spending time together, getting to know each other first.”

  “So you want to pop her cherry. How sweet. But what happens if she decides she’s gay instead? You watch her walk off into the sunset with another dyke?”

  “Liam, do you have to be so fucking nasty all the time?” Jamie snapped at me. So he was worried that his precious little Seraphina was gay, and that he was wasting his time.

  “Just telling you how it is. I think you need a reality check instead of living in cloud cuckoo land. How long are you going to give her to decide? How long can you last without a proper, decent fuck instead of making do with a wank while you watch some porn?”

  “We haven't actually discussed any kind of a definite time limit, but I’ve got us tickets for the Spring Ball. I’ve booked us a room to stay the night at the hotel where it’s being held, so that’s when I'm thinking it’ll finally happen between us. Sera might be going to the States on an exchange program at the end of term, so I'm certainly hoping things will have moved on between us by then. I thought maybe I could go and visit her over there when I’ve finished my exams, seeing as I’d planned to do some travelling anyway.”

  “She’s going to the States?”

  This sounded more promising. Just get her away from Jamie for a while, and he’d soon forget about her and move on. It was only because she was right there in the same house taunting him that he was still so obsessed with her.

  “It’s not definite she’s got a place yet. There’s a lot of competition, and she’d stand a much better chance if she could get an internship in a decent company here first, but it’s really hard to get a place apparently. So I did wonder if maybe…”

  “What?”

  “If you would agree to give her an internship at Starr Capital, just for a month or so. It would look really good on her application.”

  “Did she put you up to this?” I asked suspiciously. I wouldn’t put it past the conniving bitch to have had a motive like this all along.

  “No! Not at all. When I mentioned the idea to her, she was horrified, actually. She’s fiercely independent, and hates the thought of me trying to help her out. But if it helped her reach her goal, then I think I could persuade her to see sense.”

  “Hmm. My Creative Director claims his team is snowed under at the moment, so I suppose I could take her on. She could help out by doing the photocopying, making the tea, answering the phone, running errands, that kind of thing. It would be unpaid though. Her payment would be having Starr Capital Ventures on her CV.”

  I wasn’t offering this placement to help her. I was doing it to hopefully enable her to move away from Jamie. I wanted to break them up, one way or another, because my brother deserved so much better than this time wasting female he’d got sucked in by.

  “That’d be great! I think it would make all the difference. I’m sure I could get her to agree, and hopefully then she’ll be really grateful and happy…”

  “And then you think you’ll finally get laid, eh?” I smirked at my brother. I didn't think he stood a chance in hell, whatever happened. He was just being strung along by this flaky, opportunist bitch, and I was going to prove it to him.

  Chapter 8

  Seraphina

  The ultra modern offices of Starr Capital Ventures were pretty much how I expected them to be. Set in an up and coming and area on the edge of the city financial district. Minimalist modern style offices, bare, cold and soulless. Monochrome colour scheme, all black, white and chrome. Everybody dressed in boring bland corporate suits and shirts, as per the strict dress code that Liam Starr insisted every member of staff adhered to, be they male or female, although there weren’t very many women employees in any case, I quickly realised.

  I still felt very uncomfortable about the fact that Jamie had persuaded his brother to give me this placement rather than getting it on my own merit, but as he’d pointed out, I’d have been stupid to turn down this golden opportunity to add a sterling name like Starr Capital Ventures to my CV. He had argued that other people benefitted from strings being pulled, so why shouldn’t I? And so I’d taken up the hastily arranged placement, in order to meet the final application deadline for the exchange program. At least it tied in with the Easter break from uni, so I didn't have to miss any lectures or seminars.

  I would be forever grateful to Jamie for pulling this out of the bag. He really was such a sweet guy to me, despite the fact that I couldn’t give him what he wanted from our relationship, not yet anyhow. We were working on it, and he was being very patient and understanding of the fact that I’d freaked out when he’d tried to make love to me at his birthday party a while back. It had been so mortifying for me, and exactly what I’d feared would happen yet again. It always did. Jamie was good looking, had a great body, was friendly, kind, a bit immature maybe, but that was only to be expected from a fellow student. So why on earth I couldn’t just let go and enjoy myself with him, and finally lose my wretched virginity with such a great guy, I didn't understand. But I just couldn’t.

  Abbey had no such problems – she and Toby had had a great night together, she’d informed me the next day. He’d certainly been grinning from ear to ear the next morning when she’d left, and from the unmistakeable sounds coming from his bedroom in the early hours, it’d been obvious why. Now they saw each other now and again for repeat performances whenever either of them felt the need. So why couldn’t I be more like her? Although Jamie had tried to his best to hide it, he’d obviously been green with envy, and I truly felt sorry for the poor guy. I tried to tell him I’d understand if he wanted to move on and go out with other girls rather than be stuck with a freak like me, but he’d insisted he was happy just spending time with me.

  On my first day at Starr Capital Ventures, I was left in little doubt about all the correct protocols, first by the pages of very detailed instructions I received, and secondly by the lecture I had to endure from Simon Draper, the fifty something, old school Creative Director who headed up the team I was doing my ‘internship’ with. General dogsbody was more like it, but as it was only for a month I wasn’t bothered. All that mattered was that I would be able put a well respected company on my CV to help with my exchange program application, and longer term to get a decent job. Everyone bigs up their role on their CV anyway, so I was sure I could be just as creative in describing mine.

  Simon had made it crystal clear that all I was expected to do was general running around – the kind of thing a kid on work experience would be allowed to do. I would be entrusted to do the photocopying, make the tea and coffee, go get lunches, that kind of thing. And then, if I was really lucky, after a couple of weeks, if I hadn't stuffed up majorly in any way, they might actually trust me enough to answer the phones and take messages. Whoop de doo. Lucky me.

  I was certainly not expected to make any kind of an artistic contribution, but at least I was there in the office, watching what was going on, listening in to all their discussions. It was very interesting and useful, and by lucky chance, the brief the team were currently working on fitted in perfectly with my final coursework assignment for uni:

  ‘You are working for a mid-sized design agency and have been tasked with a brand refresh for a well-known company to use across multiple channels. The Brief requires a full presentation including conceptual work, a range of options, along with your recommended route.’

  Of course the high and mighty Mr. Starr wouldn’t dream of entrusting an outside agency with any of his precious work. He had his own in-house team to work to his very exacting and precise instructions. Toby had called him a control freak, and as I listened to the team trying to come up with some interesting options for their boss to choose from for his new logo and image, I realized that was exactly what he was. He’d left them with virtually no options. Despite the name of the company, he d
idn't want any kind of a reference or image connected with a star – apparently he considered that too obvious, that it was tasteless, tacky and lazy. Nothing colourful, he decreed. The font must be plain, bold and clear, nothing too fancy or artistic.

  He was squeezing the creative life out of his team, leaving them stuck up a blind alley, yet he was still expecting them to come up with something new and exciting. The man was impossible - not that I’d actually met him, of course – I was far too lowly for him to bother himself about, and that suited me just fine because I had no desire whatsoever to cross paths with him. I just kept my head down and did everything that was asked of me as efficiently as possible, so that there would be no possible grounds for them to refuse to give me the reference I needed.

  I didn't envy the guys in the team one bit. They were all so in awe of the Big Boss, scared of losing their jobs if they went against his commands. Apparently the last member of the team who’d tried to suggest a new approach had been ‘let go’, because the Big Boss had been so unimpressed. So now no one dared to contradict him, or suggest anything even slightly radical.

  For my course work, I had no such restrictions. I had carte blanche to come up with whatever designs I wanted, and I took great delight in coming up with the complete opposite of what the great ogre Liam Starr was insisting he wanted. Each night when I got home, I worked on my own version of their project, and I found it really interesting. I decided it was the kind of work I’d like to get into when I finished uni. I really threw myself into my project, so that I’d have some great examples in my portfolio. Of course, if I was lucky enough to land a place on the exchange program, then hopefully that might lead to a job – that was always the expectation anyway.

  Because mine was an unpaid internship, and I still needed to eat and pay all my bills, I had to continue with my part time waitressing job as well as work at Starr Capital Ventures during the day, and also work on my uni assignment, so I was busier than ever, much to Jamie’s disappointment. But that was just the way it had to be, for the next month or so anyhow. He might be miffed about my current lack of availability, but he had to concede that it was his own doing because he’d instigated my placement at his brother’s company.